Have a Laugh With These Gambling Jokes

Written by: Ashley Grasse, Casino, Games, and Trends Specialist
3 minute read
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You’ve probably never seen a standup comic center their routine on gambling jokes. Nevertheless, many funny jokes about gambling do exist. We’ve scoured the internet for the best of the best when it comes to betting humor. We have even come up with a few gambling puns of our own!

The Funniest Gambling Jokes and Puns

What do a T-Rex, vampire, and caveman have in common? They’re all involved in our top gambling puns and jokes, which you can enjoy below.

Why did the T-Rex casino dealer get arrested?

He was a small arms dealer.

Did you hear about the non-aggressive poker player?

They became a maid because they’re so good at folding.

What do craps fanatics call heaven?

Pair-a-dice.

Why do butchers never bet the maximum at gambling tables?

The steaks are too high.

How do you make a small fortune in the casino?

Go to the casino with a large fortune.

Why is Santa Claus such a lousy poker player?

He always checks twice.

Why did the British blackjack table collapse?

Somebody bet 10,000 pounds on it.

Where are your best odds of getting a straight flush in the casino?

The bathroom.

What’s the difference between a losing gambler and a dog?

The dog eventually stops whining.

Do you know what store would be great for playing blackjack?

Forever 21.

Why did the gambler pull French fries out of their pocket at the table?

They lost all of their chips.

Why don’t people like gambling in Chile?

They don’t want their luck to go south.

What’s the worst part about gambling in Africa?

All of the cheetahs.

Why do vampires hate big bets?

They get scared when stakes are raised.

Why do cavemen hate most card suits?

They only want clubs.

These Premium Online Casinos Are No Joke

As seen above, there are many funny jokes about gambling. However, we’d like to get serious for a moment and discuss some of the best real money online casinos. Thanks to their many games, huge bonuses, and a wide variety of banking options, these casinos genuinely stand out.

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Have a Laugh at Top Online Casinos!

Online Gambling at Poker Rooms Cards Chips and Dealer Icon

You now have plenty of gambling puns and jokes for the next time you visit the casino with friends. If you decide to stay home and gamble, check out the online casinos covered above.

When considering their giant bonuses and extensive game selections, these gambling sites are no laughing matter. Enjoy a punchline and a jackpot at the same time!


Ashley Grasse

Ashley Grasse Casino, Games, and Trends Specialist

Ashley Grasse is a research writer and casino entertainment expert. She's a game theory enthusiast, and an expert on information accuracy, making difficult concepts easy to understand, dissecting casino games, and reviewing games, software, and online gambling sites.

Learn More About Ashley